Soulmart

•April 22, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Go to the bottom and read up. Well, okay, you don’t have to, but it will ruin it if you don’t.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I hear target sells the soul already inside the cookie for 50 cents at the candy counter, but there have been suspicious complaints from customers who claim that they can’t stop going there to buy stuff and have almost gone completely bankrupt but can’t stop because of weird voices in their heads… so… never mind.

 

They have them at Bed Bath and Beyond for who knows how much, but they like to put those in the beyond section and I’m not sure if anyone has ever come back from there.

 

Also, don’t be a dummy and go to Walmart or Good Will, because you’ll be searching for hours, and you’ll buy a bunch of stuff you don’t need. Anyway, when something is donated to Good Will, it’s probably there for a reason.

 (ME)

 

 

 

lmao
U can go to the 99 cents store…they may not e the best but they’re still a soul and cookie…
$2!!! lmao well actually $1.98 but oh well

 

Singing is my soul

 

 

those arn’t cheap u no- i mean the cookie, not the soul. u can get those at real easy prices anywhere on ebay.

 (ME)

 

 

 

lol sorry ~+~holds up hands~+~

 

Singing is my soul

 

 

no, it’s okay. but you have to get me a new one- a cookie and a soul. ~+~sigh~+~ dammit.

 (ME)

 

 

 

 

I’M SORRY

 

Singing is my soul

 

 

DAMMIT (insert name here), MY FUCKING SOUL WAS IN THERE!!!!

 (ME)

 

 

 

lmao funny…but I think I ate it

 

Singing is my soul

 

 

 

I guess you could say i sold my soul to the cookie.

(ME)

 

 

 

 

lol

 

Singing is my soul

 

 

 

well, that’s okay, i guess. I’ve always preferred to keep my soul to myself, but i don’t judge. usually.

 

 

  (ME)

 

 

 

like I do everytime

 

Singing is my soul

 

 

so… you sold your soul to the chorus?

 (ME)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This was an email from a friend. They usually are. We both have yahoo accounts which include signitures at the ende of every email (whether others do too, I don’t know).

I’m not going to put my signiture down because it has my name, but I’ll put down my friend’s sig. and delete her name in the email. Anyway, she got a new sig., I commented on it, then the who conversation turned into something else….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Truth About Your Health… I Love This Doctor.

•April 22, 2009 • Leave a Comment

This was an email sent to me by a friend. I don’t care if it’s fake, I love this Doctor.

 

Q: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it… don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually… Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

 

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (greenleafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

 

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

 A: Are you crazy? HELLO! Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It’s the best feel-good food around!

 

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

 

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. And remember: ‘Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways – Chardonnay in one hand – chocolate in the other – body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming ‘WOO HOO, What a Ride!’

AND……. For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

  1.  The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
  2.  The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
  3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
  4.  The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
  5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you..

 

(For all those concerned: Don’t belive a word of this. It’s just a joke. These are all very good ways to kill yourself…)

He, She, and All of Them

•February 25, 2009 • Leave a Comment

This is just something I started writing one day. It has no beginning and it has no end, so don’t go looking for one. And yes, for all those concerned this has been posted on both this blog (my blog) and my other blog (Eyesunblinking’s Blog). Sorry if this sad little story doesn’t make any sense, but I’m bored. Click on the hyperlink below to visit my other site!!!

As she turned her head she screamed. He ducked underneath the flying hunk of metal and rolled over to where she was sitting. Grabbing the back of her head by the hair harshly and pushed her down just as the next hunk came rocketing out of nowhere. The cement was cold and unforgiving beneath her face, and she began to think about the strange choices she had made during that wild and crazy day and quickly came to the conclusion that everything happening now was all her fault. Staring into the rush of freezing air coming from the enormous hole in the wall he didn’t hear the small sounds of her weeping with guilt and terror, and even if he had he probably wouldn’t care.

The blocks of metal and steel continued to rain down on them like a sideways storm for a full thirty minutes. When the attack finally ceased, she began to crawl out away from the wall towards the hole, thinking that Jimmy had to have been there. Marco looked up at her and found himself letting out a quick shriek and jumped out to grab her. Landing on her back, he pushed her to the ground roughly and tumbled off of her. What was with him? Why was he suddenly risking his life for her? It wasn’t like it was him they were after, it was her. But they would be after him if they saw him, so what was that little tackle thing about? And anyway, wasn’t she the one who got him into this mess, the one who had refused to help him and his family when the were most vulnerable? Brushing the thoughts from his mind, he got down onto his belly and slid himself over to the hole.

She stared at him in disgust. What was that about? Why did he keep hurting her? This was about Jimmy, wasn’t it? A thought suddenly smacked her in the face. He liked her, didn’t he? She couldn’t blame him. After all, who could resist the charm of Claire Janette? Other than Jimmy. She felt herself blushing wildly and she watched him slither over to the hole like a snake – no. She didn’t like him. He was a dirty little sewage rat, and Jimmy did like her. Why else would he have done all of… THAT? They were just having relationship problems, that’s all. Every couple does. Maybe they weren’t as complicated as killing her family, destroying everything she’s ever known, everything she was, and flinging giant hunks of metal from the construction site in an insane attempt to kill her… okay, so they were really bad. What was wrong with her? What made her keep coming back for more? Was it that feeling of hopelessness that she always got whenever she was around him? Was it because he didn’t want her, and she knew it?

Then, just as suddenly as the strange-but-deadly “hail storm” had stopped, it begun again.

Unfinished

•December 3, 2008 • Leave a Comment

This is just a bunch of stuff I haven’t finished yet. But I intend to…. yep…..

Chapter one

•December 3, 2008 • Leave a Comment

Adaption: A physical or behavioral change that improves a species’ ability to succeed in its environment.

 

“Darlene!”

I spun my head around to the source of the voice. A tall woman wearing a yellow rainjacket was racing over in my direction holding a small cardboard box. I stood motionless in the soggy driveway waiting for her to come up. She was a slow runner.

“Hello, Miss Puerter,” I mumbled shyly when she was finally in front of me.

“Oh, please, call me Grace!”

“Grace…”

“Yeah, well, I just wanted to come and say, WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD!!”

She was giggling uncontrollably, doing this thing where she would rock back and forth like she was going to faint at any moment. I don’t know why she was welcoming me, seeing as I had lived in that neighborhood my whole life. I was just changing houses. I know, I know, that’s just a little weird, but it was my grandma’s decision. Something to do with lower house payments…

“Well, I, um, hang on.” She bent down with her hands on her knees and began to hyperventilate. I waited for her to pull her head back up to continue with her babbling.

“Okay! I’m back! Heh, heh. Well, um, I just wanted to give you this,” she said, holding out the box to me, “hope it’s not too soggy.”

“Mis.. Grace, it’s not even raining anymore.”

“Oh yeah,” she gasped pulling off her hood, revealing shaggy-obviously-been-dyed-red hair.

I rolled my eyes at her and began to open the box. Why was it so wet, anyway? How long had she been out here waiting for me to get home? Heh. Home. This sure didn’t feel like home. Inside the box there was an old plastic doll, probably one of those weird Polly Pocket dolls. I couldn’t really tell past all the wear and tear.

“So….. uh, thanks, I guess.”

“Oh, you’re so welcome! I knew you would love it!” she sputtered, apparently unaware of my disappointment. “Her name is Polly,” (I knew it), “but I’ve always called her Lucy. I love the name Lucy, ’cause it was on a show and it rings in your ears like crystal,” (what?), “but you can call her whatever you want, Darlene.”

I can’t say I was too excited about Polly, or Lucy, or whatever her name was. Unlike most girls, I stopped playing with dolls when I was about 4 years old. I’m 13. You can see where the major difference comes in.

Could Miss Puerter be more of a child?!

“Thanks Miss…. Grace. I’ll see you around.”

“Bye-a!”

I watched as she skipped out of the driveway and down the street to her house. I can’t believe grandma made me leave my beloved home five houses down just to cut down on costs a little. Since when are the houses on the same street charged different electric bills? I guess that this isn’t much of a big deal…. I’m still with all of my friends, I’m actually closer to the pool, the house looks pretty much the same, and a penny saved is a penny you can spend later on something more important. Still, it’s just a little weird.

I threw open the heavy wooden door to my new home and stepped inside. Remember how I told you that the house looked pretty much the same as my old one? Well, what I ment was just the outside. The place had a strange empty feeling to it, with it’s big white walls and furniture-less living room. Hmmm… The place. I like it. from now on this isn’t my house or home. It’s a place.

I swung my backpack over my shoulder and onto the cherry wood layered floor and whistled. At that moment a small yapping sound flew down the staircase followed by a small black-brown Yorkshire, with the bells on his little red collar ringing. The dumb dog almost slipped and back-surfed down the entire flight of stairs but managed to catch himself just in time. Good. I don’t know what I’d do if he got hurt. I mean other than take him to the doggy hospital.

Embarrassed about the little tripping incident, he tried to show off by going faster than ever. But this didn’t really work on the wood and he ended up slipping again. Finally he stuck with padding his way as slowly as possible over to me.

“Yeah, I know. I don’t like this house either,” I sympathized.

He jumped up and rested his paws on my legs. I bent over and cradled him into my arms like a baby.

“Hello, Little Bear,” I cooed. “Hows mama’s little boy doing?”

He licked at my face in reply.

“You’ve been a good boy, haven’t you? I bet you didn’t chew anything up this time, isn’t that right my little lovey bear!!!”

Most people find this hole thing disgusting, and usually end up saying I love my dog more than I love people. And why not? What’s so wrong about loving your pet more than your social life? And anyways, people are weird (With Miss Puerter being my first example). Dogs never lie to you or pretend to be something they’re not. Dogs only attack when they are annoyed or scared or are getting a little too carried away when they are playing. Dogs just want to be loved.

I set Little Bear on the ground and ran upstairs to see the damage.

Hello world!

•December 3, 2008 • 1 Comment

Hi. Welcome to my blog.

Well…

Let’s get this party started…

 
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